found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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