Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
