have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
