Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
