I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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