I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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