i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
