Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize