remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
