You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I looked at my own cervix.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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