carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
