so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
