i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
