your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Ladies don't puke and tell
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
