I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
