Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
