the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
