yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
