Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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