glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
