would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
