wanna go halves on a baby?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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