Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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