so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
