you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Success! We fucked roommates!
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