i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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