PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
