You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Need sex. Gaining weight.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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