I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
