guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
That's how pantless uber rides happen
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
