forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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