He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
