I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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