mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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