At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
