I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
