Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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