no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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