Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize