If you die in college, do you die in real life?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
How's work?
Spinning.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
