I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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