I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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