My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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