I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
