the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
