I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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