i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I need a burrito and a hug.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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