I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
