someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
