just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
