I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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