i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
nutella sex= disaster
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
