Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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