I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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