when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
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We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
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And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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