I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
