Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
