I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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