"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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