yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
