im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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