The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
