What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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