8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
