my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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